Nowhere Slowly
by CoGDork
Summary: A companion drabble/oneshot series to Nowhere Fast covering the many misadventures during the timeskips. WARNING: contains dumb humor, sarcasm, heartwarming moments and tearjerkers in varying capacity.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** **_This is a little companion drabble/oneshot series to Nowhere Fast, my Naruto SI. You should go read that first if you don't want to get totally lost. Basically, a reviewer on my other story (who I am INSANELY grateful for, they have been so much help) pointed out that the many timeskips in the early chapters of NF could be considered lost opportunities for interesting stories in the life of Keiji and Company. But instead of going back over the entire fic and adding stuff in, I figured this would be a good place to put those stories. In any case, I'll write this on the side when I don't have ideas for Nowhere Fast—and perhaps in the process get some good ideas, or at least get extra practice in writing._**

 _ **And no, I don't own Naruto.**_

* * *

 **EIGHT YEARS OLD**

Okay, so punching my teacher in the dick wasn't the smartest of moves. It was damn funny, though. Unfortunately, it also landed both Naru-nii and me in detention. Well, unfortunate for THEM. Because Naru-nii was about to start something in our brotherly relationship that would make us both infamous in the village.

"Oh come on, Keiji-nii, it's fun! All we have to do is—"

"For the last time, Naru-nii, I'm not helping you pull pranks on our teacher! What I did was stupid and I shouldn't have done it."

 _Still hilarious, though. But I have to be the adult here—even if I am physically a kid._

Naru-nii pouted. "Hmph. You're no fun, Keiji-nii. And I had something really cool planned out, too."

This managed to pique my curiosity. Naruto, KID Naruto, the definition of a short-attention spanned problem child, actually planning things out? Yeah, I HAD to know what he had in mind.

"Something cool? Like what?"

"Well, you don't want to help me, soooo..."

 _Oh, you little jerk. I see what you're doing. But again, I'm the adult._

"Ugh, nevermind. That trick won't work on me—"

The teacher swaggered into the room, a smug grin plastered on his face. "You two brats. You think you're so tough? Well, don't worry, I'll make sure your time in here is as miserable as possible!"

 _Okay, screw adulthood._

"Tell me everything."

* * *

"Lord Third, why do you let him stay in this school? Kami, why do you allow him to stay in the VILLAGE?"

"There are reasons for what I do. But I don't have to tell you about them."

"But my house! The two brats..."

The old man sighed heavily. "Hrm. What has Naruto done now?"

"Not just him, the other one too! They... well, see for yourself!"

The teacher pointed out the window in the direction of his house. Which was now lime green with hot pink polka dots covering it.

The old man turned away from the teacher.

"I will personally reprimand the two of them for their actions. You, on the other hand, need to... go back to your job..."

"Lord Third, are you well?"

The old man didn't turn around, lest the teacher see him struggling to keep from choking on his pipe in laughter.

* * *

 _ **I've always liked how Sarutobi was a pretty normal guy under the "serious leader" persona. He's like the coolest old man ever.**_

 _ **In case you're wondering, yes, there will be plenty of humor in this fic. I won't forget to add in some sad or heartwarming moments, though—and to be sure, there are plenty of those stories to be told, considering how fast I skipped over the childhood/academy years!**_


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** _**Just to let you know, these shorts won't always be in chronological order.**_

 _ **I don't own Naruto.**_

* * *

 **FIVE YEARS OLD**

Keiji said he'd share a room with me. He's the first one who ever wanted to be nice to me, so I said yes. But Keiji can't sleep; he keeps crying all the time. Something about his mommy and daddy; if he has a mommy and a daddy, why is he here where people don't have mommies and daddies? Did they go away and leave him or something?

"Mom... don't cry, I'm not dead, please..."

He keeps talking in his sleep, too. Why would his mommy think he's dead? Is that why he's here? Jii-san said talking makes you not hurt so bad when you're sad. Maybe if I wake him up...

"Keiji-kun, wake up!"

"Hrnn... Naruto? What is it?"

"You were crying about your mommy. Why?"

He looks at me funny for a bit before talking. He's not crying anymore, so maybe if I keep talking...

"Did something happen to your mommy and daddy?"

"I... I don't know. But I got lost, and they're... they're someplace a long ways away, and I can't go there."

"Why don't they come get you?"

"It's... it's too far away, and they probably think I'm dead because I got lost when they weren't around. I... I don't..."

He starts to cry again.

"I don't have a family... I lost my family! I'm all alone!"

So that's why. I never had a mommy or a daddy, so I don't know what it's like to lose them, but if Keiji hurts bad like this, it must be really bad.

Wait. I know what to do to make him not sad!

"You wanna be my nii-san?"

"Huh?"

"If you're my brother, I have a family, and you have a family, so we're not alone and we don't have to be sad anymore!"

He stops crying for a bit and looks at me funny for a long time. Why does he keep looking at me funny? I start to worry that I made him feel bad and that he'll not like me anymore like everyone else, but then he smiles.

"Y-yeah... you're right!"

"Cool, now you're Keiji-nii!"

"Thanks, Naruto-"

I shake my head at him.

"That's not right. You're my brother now, so you call me Naru-nii!"

"Thanks... Naru-nii."

He finally stops crying for good. Jii-san was right, talking helps! I don't think we'll be sad anymore. I hope not...

* * *

 _ **I was trying to write like little kids talk. Hopefully I got it right.**_


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** **_And now, some existential drama!_**

 _ **I don't own Naruto.**_

* * *

 **TEN YEARS OLD**

Classes at the academy had ended early due to the teacher for the last class being sick. All the other students—Naru-nii in particular—were absolutely stoked by this news, and made plans for the rest of the day. Today held special significance for Naru-nii and myself—by some odd coincidence, we shared a birthday, and that day just happened to be today. However, I was too busy with some heavy thoughts to celebrate just yet. Which was why I was currently sitting in a tree on the academy grounds, staring up at the sky.

 _My tenth birthday... or is it my fortieth?_

Being shoved violently back twenty-five years in age and into another universe without explanation tends to make these concepts more than a little confusing. Not to mention the fact that I hadn't been called by my real name, or spoken in my native language, in five whole years. While I loved this universe and didn't want to have to leave it, as much as I gained in coming here I also couldn't help but realize that I still lost a lot. Having Naru-nii around definitely helped with the family part—while the full hurt of never seeing my parents or my actual brother ever again would probably never really go away, having an adoptive brother in Naruto helped to fill the void. But that still left my name and my time. I looked down from my perch at a small pond below, staring at my reflection.

 _Who am I? Keiji, or Casey? Does the person I was matter at all, considering I'll likely never return to that world? Do the years I spent back there mean anything here?_

These weren't easy questions to answer, especially not on my birthday. I decided to go walking a bit before returning home. Which only caused more existential problems.

 _My home, or Keiji's home? Are they the same thing?_

As I walked, my eyes landed on something that intrigued me. An old, beat up shamisen was leaning on the side of a building, discarded with some trash. Something about it drew me in; I walked over and picked it up.

The neck and body were mostly intact, but the skin on the front had been torn. Upon closer examination, I noticed that one of the tuning pegs had broken in half, its respective string missing entirely while another was snapped in half. Only the center string was intact. All in all, this instrument had seen plenty of better days.

And yet something prevented me from just tossing it back. I felt something inside me welling up, but it wasn't tears. It felt more like I desperately needed to say something important, but I didn't know how. On instinct, I plucked the sole remaining string with my thumb, hearing a single out-of-tune note... and all of a sudden, I felt the urge to sing. Words flew out of me, almost unbidden, carrying everything I was feeling with them.

 _There's a stranger in the mirror, and he looks just like me._

 _There's a stranger in the mirror, and he looks just like me._

 _What's to do when the man you are ain't the person that you see?_

 _My old life lays behind me, my new life lies ahead._

 _My old life lays behind me, my new life lies ahead._

 _I want to weave a new rug, but I can't cut the old thread._

 _Well, there's a stranger in the mirror, and he looks just like me._

 _Yes, there's a stranger in the mirror, and he looks just like me._

 _What do you do when the man that you are ain't the person that you see?_

 _I got a million questions, but I've yet to answer one._

 _I've got a million questions, but I just can't answer one._

 _What's the point of starting over when what's over wasn't done?_

 _Oh, there's a stranger in the mirror, and he looks just like me._

 _There's a stranger in my mirror, and that stranger looks like me._

 _Well, what's to do when the man you are ain't the person that you see?_

 _Oh, what do I do, what do I do, when that stranger I see is me?_

I reached the end of the song, and all of a sudden I found myself feeling ten times lighter. I didn't know why... until I looked at the old beat-up radio that also sat in the junk pile. I suddenly remembered something from my old world that I had enjoyed and missed—the blues. But up until now, I had never actually understood what that was. I loved the music, I felt what the greats were singing, but I never knew what it was like to be the one actually conveying the emotion rather than feeling it secondhand.

"Heya, Keiji! Watcha doin'?"

I turned around to see Kiba and Akamaru standing behind me. Boy and dog alike looked at the old beat-up instrument I was holding.

"Wow, that thing's seen better days."

"Yeah, I guess..."

I frowned at the instrument. This thing had lifted a huge weight off of me; it didn't deserve to just slowly crumble in some alley.

"Kiba, do you know anyone who could repair this?"

"Hunh? Well, let's see... my uncle Hideki used to make things like that in his spare time. Maybe he could help!"

I leapt off after him, briefly looking at the old shamisen once again as I carried it in my arms.

 _I still don't know if I'm Casey or Keiji—but they're both me. And that's good enough for the time being. Now all you need is a name..._

* * *

 _ **Once again, the lyrics are entirely my own. Traditional 12-bar pattern with major chords, if you're interested.**_


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** **_Just something to tide you guys over while I take a break from Nowhere Fast. Since we had two dramatic chapters in a row, now it's time for awkward humor!_**

 _ **I don't own Naruto.**_

* * *

 **THIRTEEN YEARS OLD**

The Third Hokage was sitting at his desk doing paperwork when he sensed a familiar chakra nearby. Turning toward the window, he spotted a bespectacled teenager wearing a blue hoodie over a white shirt, a shamisen slung over his back. He suspected that the young man would need to talk from time to time due to his unique situation, so he allowed these intrusions on the condition that he try to be subtle about it. Thus the open window through which said guest had entered.

"Harutani. What might I do for you today?"

The deceptively adult ninja looked aside awkwardly. "Er, there's something I noticed recently and it's starting to get to me. I can't exactly tell other people this, so you're pretty much the only person I can turn to."

The Third lifted an eyebrow, but said nothing, gesturing for his guest to sit down. _Hmm. What could be happening that would have him acting like this?_

The ninja-in-training sighed heavily and spoke awkwardly. "Well, you see... You know I'm older than I look, so I'm aware of certain... processes... that happen around this time in a young man's life."

Sarutobi's eyes widened just a bit in realization. _Well, no wonder he wants to talk._ "I see. What problems might these... processes... be causing?"

Heavy blushing ensued. "Well, you don't have to worry about... inappropriate... thoughts on my part. That said, I figured that since I already went through this once before in my old life, I would be better able to deal with it this time around. I can hide it a bit, but there's one person in particular whose... appearance... has made it very difficult for me."

"Who?"

"The current instructor for throwing weapons."

"Oh my. Anko."

There was a silence in the room for a few moments. Anko was no Tsunade in terms of... measurement... but she didn't exactly HIDE her assets either. The Third broke the silence with a puff of smoke.

"Well, don't worry. It's normal for boys of your physical age to take notice of grown—"

"You're underestimating the lack of control here. I may have... accidentally... caught a glimpse of her as I passed by the hot springs, and, well, I couldn't help but keep looking..."

There was a silence in the room for what seemed like an eternity. Before either could speak, a new voice rang through the air, striking pure terror in all who heard it.

"YOU LITTLE PERVERT! YOU THINK YOU CAN HIDE FROM ME?!"

"Hide me, please! I don't want to die!"

"Are you crazy? You brought this on yourself, Harutani! Don't get me killed with you!"

* * *

 _ **What? Anko IS hot. Don't judge me.**_


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** **_Consider this a small hint of what is to come in Nowhere Fast. Enjoy!_**

 _ **I don't own Naruto.**_

* * *

 **TWELVE YEARS OLD**

Danzo paced back and forth in his spartan dwelling. He had just returned from a rather unorthodox council meeting—in fact, it was somewhat of an interrogation—the results of which left him with a number of questions.

The meeting concerned the orphan who had befriended the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki, one Harutani Keiji. The boy in question had encountered an Ame-nin assassin capable of killing three ANBU in seconds, and yet somehow had disabled the assassin in one blow. But the true shock came when the source of that power was revealed; the boy was unfailingly honest in his answers to the Elders' questions, but even they were almost disbelieving when they learned that the Kyuubi had been cloned, and that the boy before them was the jinchuuriki of said clone. This alone both disturbed and intrigued Danzo. But that wasn't what had him pacing.

No, what had him pacing was the boy's reactions to him. Whenever Danzo spoke, Harutani averted his eyes. The manner in which he did so almost made it seem as if he knew of Danzo's implanted Sharingan... but that was impossible. No one outside a select few members of ROOT knew of that secret; even Hiruzen, the fool, was unaware. Then there was the fact that the boy was clearly wary of Danzo in general. It was almost as if Harutani knew him. Danzo subtly tested this by asking a question involving the slaughter of the boy's family that subtly implied the events surrounding the Uchiha massacre and his part in it, something the boy would not be capable of knowing. The boy's reaction confirmed his suspicions: Harutani Keiji somehow knew everything about Danzo, including his most secret of dealings.

He had gone over every major possibility in his mind, systematically eliminating them until only one remained. Normally he would not even consider such an answer—but after eliminating the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth. And the one remaining possibility made him stop in his tracks.

The boy somehow had the ability to perceive events for which he was not present. Perhaps even events to come. No, the boy's reactions spoke of more than the knowledge of past or present; Harutani undoubtedly knew of Danzo's future plans, and not one soul in the world knew of such plans but him. Knowledge of past, present, and future was the only solution to the riddle.

The leader of ROOT smiled. This child would be a far greater asset to Konoha than even the Uzumaki brat. Hiruzen would no doubt protect both of them with all the influence he could muster, a suspicion confirmed when he was the first to agree to allow Harutani to remain in the village and continue his journey to becoming a Konoha-nin. Danzo followed suit; such a potential asset was too valuable to discard. The problem lay in the boy's personality; Danzo didn't need the Sharingan to read that. Harutani Keiji shared the same weakness as Hiruzen: emotional attachment to fellow ninja. But Danzo knew better; there was no room for emotion or empathy for a proper ninja, only sacrifice. A Konoha-nin must live and die for Konoha, and do whatever was necessary to make the village strong—morality meant nothing. Only the mission mattered. Such a philosophy would be unacceptable to Harutani Keiji; simply convincing him to join ROOT as an asset was out of the question.

But Danzo was patient, and knew that anyone would break given the proper incentive and leverage. A plan began to formulate in his mind; it would take two years to come to fruition—the Chunin exams would occur not long after the child graduated. That would be his moment to move. All he needed was a proper pawn, and if his hunch was correct, one pawn in particular would attempt to move on its own at that same time. Once the plan succeeded, not only would the Last Uchiha be neutralized as a threat, not only would Harutani Keiji join ROOT, not only would a traitor would be rightfully executed for his crimes, but Hiruzen's weakness would also be removed from the picture, and Konoha allowed to reach its potential without the old fool holding it back.

A hated voice in the back of his mind told him that his actions would technically be qualified as treason. He shoved the voice back—the notion that he was even remotely capable of treason was ridiculous; Danzo lived and breathed for Konoha. Any action he took to benefit the village was justified. Konoha would one day take its rightful place over all—he would see to that.

* * *

 _ **Ah, Danzo. If there is any character in the series that embodied the trope of Knight Templar, it's him. WARNING: TVTropes is addicting. You WILL lose hours of your life on that site.**_


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:** **_In case you're wondering about Nowhere Fast, I'm waiting on input from a friend before moving to the next chapter. Don't worry, I'll get back to that once I have a good idea on how to proceed with it. That said, I won't be updating it nearly as fast as previously, because I'm currently also writing another SI called "The New Gamemaster". It's a mass Nintendo crossover—if you love Nintendo games (especially Legend of Zelda—actually, a Pokemon story arc is about to start, so there's that, too), please check it out! With that shameless shilling out of the way, a little bit of the Third..._**

 _ **I don't own Naruto.**_

* * *

 **FOURTEEN YEARS OLD**

The village looks so peaceful from my office window. But appearances can be deceiving. It's been a couple of years since young Harutani told me the truth of his origins—and yet, said revelations still linger in my mind, unbidden. It would be enough to drive most people mad, I think, to consider that one's entire life and world are considered fiction in some other universe. Of course, it's also possible that Harutani's world is fictional somewhere as well. In which case whatever god or gods designed this... multiverse... must have a strange sense of humor. But that's not the part that worries me.

What worries me, as always, is the future. To know that so many lives will be lost due to ambition, revenge, hatred, and madness in various forms from many different people, their individual plans and plots intertwined like the web of some terrible spider... and that we are all flies caught in it. Or are we? The story has changed, to be sure. Pull one thread, and the entire web may unravel... or entangle us further. And yet, other events remain constant. Does it truly matter, then, knowing what was meant to happen, when the future can no longer be predicted regardless?

I find myself asking these questions more and more frequently—and they always seem to pop up whenever I gaze out the window at the village. I look to my predecessors, watching in silence from above; how would they have handled this? What would they have done, were they in my place? Even now, in my old age, the weight of this hat has not lessened one bit.

Perhaps it is my own mortality that preoccupies me. According to the story, I am to die very soon—at the hands of my former student. I do not fear death; I am old, and have lived a full life. That is not to say I lack regrets—it comes with the job. But what is past is past, and dwelling on it is useless. But the future... when I am dead, will Tsunade take over as she was meant to? Or will the man I long ago called a friend find his way to the top instead?

Danzo... even now, knowing what he has done, what he intends to do, and what he will almost certainly do should he get his hands on Harutani, I cannot bring myself to see him as evil. Misguided, lost, arrogant, selfish, but evil? I try to tell myself that he can be saved, that he might be somehow convinced to stop the dark path that he has chosen before it destroys him and so many others. But time and again, I realize that the friend I once knew is gone—replaced by a single-minded manipulator whose desire to protect his village has been corrupted in the worst way. I feel utterly powerless. In fact, I have not felt this powerless since the night Minato and Kushina died.

And yet... there is still hope. It is minuscule—barely a flicker of light amidst the growing darkness—but all a fire needs is a single spark, and even the slightest hope can bring back the light. I see one path and one path only. It cannot even be called a plan, not truly—in all honesty, it is little more than a gamble. But even with all the darkness and uncertainty the future might bring, I would always gamble on the will of fire, on the ability of good to triumph over evil—because if there is one thing that evil cannot comprehend, one thing that it cannot extinguish... it is the will of fire.

The die is cast. What is to happen, let it happen. I have already made the only move left to me. And whether I am destined to live, or to die... I will never give up hope.

* * *

 _ **Like I said in the first chapter, Sarutobi is the coolest old man ever.**_


End file.
